Cowboy Regrets by Buffy Aakaash

Some people get thrown from their horse
and get right back on
If I take the time to get to know a horse
Gently mounting its back
Engaging in giving and receiving
And it throws me to the ground
Horse riding may not be my thing.

What would it take to get up after a fall
unlike so many greenhorns before
and take the reins again?
To find love in what I'm doing
and do what I love?
Whatever it is.
To know the wounds
from that unintended dismounting
would heal in their own time.
To desire something
Anything
To go somewhere
Even a distant place
To get back on and feel the wind
blow the journey over me
To not know what I will find
Expect nothing
Revel in everything.

Sometimes this world moves so slowly
and other times so quickly
I wonder if I’m ready to speed
things up on the back of a horse,
knowing I will surely be thrown again.
​


Raised in New Jersey west of NYC, Buffy Aakaash has since lived as a queer man throughout the US. His poems have been published by Sweety Cat Press, Main Street Rag and Dissonance Magazine, among others. "Untangling the Knots," his chapbook of "How to…" poems will be published by Kelsay Books in November of 2022. He now lives in Vermont’s Green Mountains with his 4-legged fellow traveler, Bodhi. His work can be viewed at www.BuffyAakaashPoetry.com.